Technology

Sharing your children’s bad behavior on social media is making it worse

Matt Cox knew that he would be criticized for forcing his 10-year-old daughter to walk 5 km to get to school by 36 degrees, punished for being suspended at twice from the school bus for being bullied.

"I know that many of your parents will not agree with that, but that's okay because I'm doing what I just consider giving a lesson to my daughter and l & # 39; 39, to prevent bullying, "said Cox. in a Facebook live video that he published about his punishment in December 2018 .

The video quickly collected 15 million views . Although some online reviews have dealt with bullying, most of the comments came from parents, educators, and others who fully supported his actions.

The Cox video is just one of many emerging trends that parents publicly insult their children on social media as a punishment for various wrongdoings. For example, another father recently published a video holding his son's son and driving him as a "couple" in the college corridor as a punishment for reprehensible behavior at school.

"I have to give it to him that way," the father said as his son sulked during the test.

In November, a mother from New Jersey disguised herself as a clown and went to her son's classroom to shame her for acting in class. The boy's principal – who calls himself "Mr. Viral Principal " – posted a video of the visit on Instagram. And in March, a father posted a video of his son from [10 ans] running one kilometer from school in the rain, because he had also been banished from the bus for intimidation. "Welcome to" You'd better listen to your father's 2018, "said the man to the audience in the video.

While the parents who made these videos – and the many viewers who praise them – might think that these videos represent an effective way to discipline children, a scholar teaches child development and studies psychology social media I believe that the evidence suggests otherwise.

Why do sentences fail

The idea that public humiliation will work goes against research on the relative effectiveness – or rather inefficiency – of punishment as a way of changing behavior.

As Deidre Golash, Public Affairs scholar and author of "The Case Against Punishment," "Deliberately Harmful to the Wrong Belief of to promote the very essence of tragedy is a greater good. "

Not everyone agrees. In the American Criminal Law Review, US District Attorney Lauren Goldman, Lauren Goldman, spoke of the prevalence of publicly shamed parents to shame their children to reinforce her call for judges to apply similar tactics to as a penalty. She says that many parents think that "humiliating public punishments usually have the ability to positively affect the behavior of their children".

Why the behavior can worsen

The problem is that it could actually turn against you. "Hard Parenting Practices" that may include physical aggression, psychological aggression, humiliation, cries or the threat of a child, are particularly problematic . Punitive Consequences can lead to feelings of resentment, vengeance, rebellion, and retreat. Children can simply hide behaviors instead of changing them. Research has shown that severe discipline on the part of parents greatly increases the risk of behavioral problems in children.

None of the parents listed in the social networking videos described above have recorded hitting their children – a punishment related to addiction and psychological disorders.

However, they all publicly humiliated their children, which is another form of severe parenting. A research published in the Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and Law concludes that "the suffering of severe humiliation has been demonstrated empirically so as to plunge individuals into major depressions , suicidal states, and states of severe anxiety. "

Parents are rightly concerned about when and how to discipline their children. Social media platforms can offer useful opportunities to share parenting tips and learn from others. However, in the teaching and learning process, some parents seem to be trying to validate their parenting skills without thinking too much about the consequences this could have for their children.

As Jon Ronson author of the book "" You were publicly ashamed ", it has been said, public punitive shame has always been considered a cruel punishment that destroys oneself respect and can ruin the lives of individuals.

He adds that "well-intentioned people, in a crowd, often go too far in punishment." Social media has grown exponentially the size of the crowd available to shame the public and the crowd's dynamic is often cruel.

This form of punishment, which is essentially related to parental cyberbullying is particularly prejudicial because of its permanence. When videos come online, parents may lose control of the situation because video takes a life of its own.

In Search of Alternatives

There are more effective and gentler approaches to disciplining children than shaming them online. Jane Nelson, parent educator, suggests that the natural consequences "everything that happens naturally, without interference from an adult", are far more effective than punishment in shaping behaviors .

When there is no natural consequence, either safe or reasonable, Nelson suggests instead the logical consequences . These consequences are considered reasonable from the point of view of the child and the adult, are clearly related to the problematic behavior, and are reinforced respectfully and firmly without shame or pain.

Walking or jogging at school can be a great logical consequence of being suspended from the school bus until the intention is not to cause the suffering, humiliation or psychological damage. Video and public shame – which could actually illustrate punished behavior – are not necessary.

This article is republished from The Conversation of Brian Edward Kinghorn assistant professor of educational fundamentals, of Marshall University under a Creative Commons license. Read the article original .

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